corvikate

It was only 85F outside today! Why, I wore a long-sleeved shirt and long pants. It's positively balmy compared to the 95-100F stuff we've had the past few weeks. I enjoyed the break - it won't last much longer.

Dolly & I did a good amount of traveling on Sunday - we went to see the in-laws first, out in Pinehurst. They were glad to see the dog, and some of the residents enjoyed seeing her, but Dolly hated that place. She whined and tried to tell me she wanted to get out of there right away, the whole time we were there. Poor kid. Doris did recognize her - she's known Dolly as long as she's known me, so Dolly sticks in her mind. I feel bad for Doris - she doesn't recognize anything in her environment except her husband, and she probably never will. She's not making any more memories, so she can't learn her way around. Awful.

After seeing the in-laws, we stopped to see Mom & Phil in Durham briefly on our way to Raleigh, to visit with Renee, Erica, and Kevin. We had a great time, as usual, and Erica really enjoyed meeting Dolly. Everyone loves my Dolly.

I had to work at a program in eastern NC on Monday morning, so I was at the office before 6:30 am. It's a 90 minute drive, and I needed to be there by 8 am, hence the early start. It went well, and I only had to stay a couple of hours. I left work early that afternoon to run a couple of errands, and fool fashion, I went into Home Depot to look for something. The triumph of hope over experience. I left there cussing, as I always do. (The only things I can buy there are bedding plants, because I don't have to go inside.)

We have Independence Day off from work, and I'm taking Monday, too. At least, I think I am - it depends on what kind of foolishness is happening at work. David and I are thinking of going to the beach for an hour (which is as much as I can manage), then heading to Wilmington for lunch and antiquing. He will study all the way down there and back, I'm sure, but at least he's taking a little time off. This Russian class consumes all his time and energy.

Nothing else much of interest around here. Just working a short week and getting a few things done around the house.

My Aunt Jean, Grandma, and Mom, who is about 13 in this picture, I think. That would be 1958 or so. Aren't they cute?

One of the reasons I was thinking about my mother today is that we were talking about people who put their kids in the middle when the marriage is going badly. It's selfishness on the adults' parts to behave like that - it hurts children to be involved in that crap. My mother always put me first. Whatever I needed, I got. I didn't always get what I wanted, to be sure, but I was dressed for the weather, I had sunscreen, I went to the dentist, I had three squares a day. She always made sure I had what I needed, and whatever else she could manage to provide. She never put me in the middle when she and my stepfather split up. (He raised me, so he's my Daddy. Feeding and clothing and loving a kid for a dozen years gives you bragging rights.) She never even talked my father down, though she often refused to talk about him at all.

Most people say we are a lot alike. I'm proud to be like Mom. She's amazing.

A few years ago, my Dad sent me this photo. He'd been carrying it around for years, and it was creased and torn. I did a little photo magic on the rough spots.

I'm at least 1, maybe 18 months in this shot, so Mom is about 18. We have had our ups and downs. She was very hard on me when I was that size. I was very hard on her when I was a teen. After a bunch of therapy on all sides, we have settled down. I love her with all my heart. You can see in the photo how she feels about me.

I went to the commissary last night, but I went before the meeting, so I couldn't get anything that needed refrigeration. I went again tonight - it's just not that much fun. I got a lot of meat, though. The man needs a lot of meat. We have a small retirement party at work for Mr Green, our handyman, so I came home and made macaroni salad, then brownies. They're cooling right now. It's too hot to bake, but I did it anyway. I could have bought brownies, I guess, I just didn't think of it. I did remember not to put the dressing on the macaroni. I'll mix them tomorrow morning, so the pasta doesn't absorb all the dressing overnight and become dry. I've made that mistake a lot.

Those little baby booties are kicking my butt. I've ripped them back a few times, frogged them completely once, and they are still lopsided. Good generalship would suggest that I frog and rewind, then find another dang pattern, because this one got lost in the translation from Norwegian to English. Hmph.

Work is ramping up in an interesting way. We are getting contracts left and right, and fulfilling them is going to take some planning and attention to detail. The boss is already working on spreadsheets, so we can try to keep up with the commitments. I need to put reminders on my calendar to send out regular invoices. Yikes.

I did a little re-arranging and straightening of my craft area, but it's clear that I need more storage. I have a couple of ideas, but I'll have to check out Target and the like, and see what is available.

David announced recently that he didn't want to shop at Walmart anymore, they treat their workers unfairly and they drive small businesses out of town. I just stared at him, openmouthed. This is my staunch conservative husband, the one who told me (when we were first dating) that he would turn me into a conservative. (Yeah, good luck with that.) It would seem that he is somewhat less staunch than he thought. I'm so proud.

I visited my folks today - they are doing pretty well. I visited my in-laws yesterday - ditto. David and I went out to dinner on Friday night, and ate way too much because it was so yummy. I walked to dog today, but man it was hot out. That's pretty much my weekend.

I started to make a list of the yarn in my stash. I didn't complete it, just started it. After I get done with the stash, then I will make an inventory of my needles. I still need to make a circular needle holder. I read someone else's solution - they took an old pair of jeans, cut it in half through the body, cut off the outside seam, then stitched horizontally across the front and back layers of the pants leg to make channels for each size of needle. Insert a coat hanger at the top and stitch above it to make it hang-able, and retain the pocket for whatever type of notion you might need. The designer sewed on fancy tape numbers for each size, but you could use a marker, for all that. It would be nice to have some idea of what size and type of knitting needles and crochet hooks I have, if only so I don't buy more of the same kind. Anyway, before I can do that, I have to unearth my poor sewing machine, which hasn't seen the light of day since we moved last year.

I have abandoned my beachy shawl project - I have two skeins, and the first one only made about 10" of length. That ain't gonna work, so I wound it back into a ball, and am hunting for a new design. I have a couple of prospects. I've been working a sample of a baby bootie - the first run I misread the instructions, and had to frog it entirely. I'm about halfway through the new version. I'm using the leftovers from Mom's socks, so if they come out well, I'll send them to Anne Marie with her baby blanket, so she'll have Aunt Susie socks for little Ellie. (Cue the "Awww!" from the aunties.)

Go read this. Right now. Panopticon's Reminder For All of Us.

You know, I have plenty of self-confidence. My mama gave it to me. (Thanks, Mom!) But Franklin's right, and not just about knitters. Pop culture tells us we are not enough, but we need to separate advertising from reality.

Last night, watching TV, I saw a commercial for Priceline. Three women at a cafe are trying to find a good deal for a vacation. William Shatner walks up with a stroller and three cute babies. While the women coo helplessly over the babies, he releases a lemur, which taps at the keyboard. The man leaves with his trained monkey lemur, and the women exclaim over the wonderful vacation deal they find on the computer. Message? A trained lemur is smarter than three grown women. I blame the patriarchy. (Warning - reading the articles on that blog will open your eyes, and sometimes it hurts.)

It isn't only women who are told constantly and in so many ways that we are Not Enough and Never Will Be. It behooves all of us to increase our awareness and pay attention. They are handing us a bucket of bullshit. We can refuse it.

edited because lemurs are not monkeys, and vice-versa.

Apparently, God thinks I need a lot of help, because I am now sponsoring three women. The one I've been working with all winter just had a relapse, so she's feeling pretty bad. The second has about a week right now, and is a depressive. I have no idea how to work with that issue, but I'm trying. First do no harm, right? The third just got out of rehab and has about 60 days, but doesn't seem to be in much of a hurry to work the program. All three of them "know" the steps and the literature, so I have to discuss things way more than I'd prefer. Sigh. It's keeping me in the now, I'll tell you that.

Work is still going great guns. After four years of thankless laboring in the fields, we are now known as the place to call if your staff needs training, and we are in considerable demand. They're adding another two full time positions to the Center. Full speed ahead. We are trying to plan ahead for this dramatic growth, but we still mainly fly by the seat of our pants.

I have about 6 knitting/crochet projects going at once right now. I work on one until I get bored, then I pick up a different one. (I have a pile of tote bags in the living room - it's a mess. I don't feel bad though - David's mess is way bigger and messier than mine. Heh.) Right now, I'm trying out a baby sock. I have two babies coming this year, and I'd like to make something besides or in addition to the blankets I'm always churning out. If the baby sock is easy and cute, I'll make another and send it to my cousin. If it's a pain in the butt, I won't. Lord knows there are plenty of patterns available.

I love the knitter's forum, Ravelry. (Not to be exclusionary, Ravelry is also for crochet, spinning, any fiber topic.) It was started about 18 months ago by a couple who thought it would be fun to have a forum where people could ask questions about their projects, and keep track of their patterns, yarn, etc. Last year, they opened it up to beta testing, to see how the code would hold up. Well, there are currently 140,000 people registered, and more are in the queue to be added. (I registered in early August and there were 14,000 knitters ahead of me in line! I got added in late October.) At this point, they are adding almost 1,000 people per day. Don't mess with knitters - there are a lot of us (plus we carry pointy sticks).

Anybody out there love to read? Me, too.

Strange Horizons is having their annual fund drive. These folks publish fantastic fiction, poetry, and articles all year long, and they need our help to keep it going. Go check 'em out - I've been reading their magazine for four or five years now - it's really really good. Also, if you donate, you may win a prize. (I have, two years in a row. I'm just sayin'. And it has nothing to do with the amount you donate, judging from my experience.) Every little bit helps. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go send them some money.

I grafted the second handle tonight after dinner. I wove a drawstring through the lower part of the bag, as the pattern directed, but didn't find it useful at all, so I pulled it out.



Here it is hanging from my kitchen cabinet. I like! Very pretty.



And here it is with three other project bags inside of it (sock, worsted wave scarf, and the remains of the string bag project). It's a big 'un.

I have at least 3/4s of the second skein left over. I wonder if it might be worth while to make another smaller bag? It was easy and fun to make.

Oy, it's 11 pm and I need to get my butt to bed. I stayed up just to let you folks know I had finished the knit-along. Ta-da!

I go to the top edge of the bag, and decided I'd put an I-cord edging on it, like the Elisa Nest Tote.


Flicker set here.

You can see the I-cord along the right side of the bag opening. I'm almost completely around, and I'm concerned that it restricts the opening of the bag too much. The Elisa tote is worked flat and seamed along the sides, but the Everlasting Bagstopper is rectangular on the bottom, so I have to think about where to attach the handles.

Having had a close look at it, I may ravel the I-cord edging, and just make I-cord handles. The Bag already has a garter stitch edge, and it's pretty firm. I'm not sure how to attach the handles, but I'll wing it and see how it goes.

The new project using the crocheted blanket pattern is here:


Flicker set here.

The colors make me think of the beach. The length of the thing is from top to bottom - I'm crocheting it side to side, so I have a very long way to go on this. Once I remembered the pattern, it's easy to do and works up quickly.

Then I read about the Worsted Wave Scarf on the Yarn Harlot's blog, and remembered that Mom got me two skeins of Noro Kureyon, which had been sitting in my stash for a couple of years. So I got that out and started the scarf. It's standard feather-and-fan, which seemed like it would be fun to know. Sadly, this Noro yarn is stiff as hell. I can only work a few rows at a time before I have to take a break. Pretty, though:



I hope it softens after washing.

I have been informed that I need to update more often. So here I am. I'm really tired - I spent the day at a training session, but wasn't part of the training, just representing the office. At least I wasn't outside - 100 degrees this afternoon, and it's still 90F at 10 pm.

In spite of all those UFOs and WIPs, I started something new. Reading futuregirl.com, I saw her test swatch for a new design, and the colors inspired me to dig around in my stash. I found some sock weight acrylic in similar colors, and started a summerweight shawl using the Mrs. Trombleys Crochet Blanket pattern I got from Webs for a basis. The pattern is for a baby blanket, but I made it about 20" long and I'll just follow the pattern until it's long enough. (Or until I run out of interest in the thing, let's be realistic.) I even went so far as to make some rough calculations about pattern stitches per inch to estimate how long my starting chain should be. That pattern's easy, except the first row. Once I'm past that, it's easy as pie, but I usually have to rip out and re-crochet the first row at least once or twice.

I've made more progress on the string bag - I'm at the garter stitch top edge, with a few more rows to go before binding off. Jennifer's thoughts on a ribbon handle make sense to me, so I'm thinking I-cord handles would work. I can leave the right number of stitches on the needles or stitch holders when binding off, then pick them up for the handles afterward. I'm also thinking that instead of a drawcord, I can use the yarn and my lucet to make a matching cord. That's if I can remember how to use a lucet, of course. I have the instructions around here somewhere. It's similar to the plastic shoelace weaving we called "boondoggle" in grade school.

It's going to be blistering hot again tomorrow. I'll try to run any errands in the morning. I have a movie I can watch in the afternoon, or if I'm feeling ambitious, I may try to organize that poor messy craft area in the laundry room. I don't know if I'm really ready to confront the stash in all its glory yet.

Work is still slammin' busy. The in-laws are still fine. David's still plugging away at the Russian course - he's even taking tutoring on Saturdays. The pets are happy. The stock market's down, oil prices are up. We're so grateful that we didn't get an adjustable rate mortgage, we can hardly believe it. (That was a smart move. I clearly recall saying, "Oh, no, Bush has been President for too long - the economy's about to go toes up. We're going with fixed rate, thanks.") Good call.

I've been knitting on my lunch breaks. I have a sock project that I'm keeping in the car, in case I'm stuck in a line or something. I have a pile of WIPs in tote bags around the living room. Oh well, I've had worse addictions.

The bag is about twice as long as it was in the last photos. It's still easy as pie to knit. I started a feather and fan scarf with two skeins of Noro Kureyon that my mom gave me two years ago. That stuff is a true and honest pain in the hands to knit. It's scratchy, and has no give to it at all. I'll be hard-pressed to finish that one. Apparently, it relaxes once it's washed and blocked, but that's little comfort to me now. Doris' shawl is still in process, about 1/3 to 1/2 done. I have a bag of ribbon yarn and a tank top pattern, but the yarn's driving me batty just making the swatch - I keep spearing the ribbon with the needles. I have kilt hose on the needles for David, but the lace cuff pattern requires my undivided attention, so that's not moving along much at all.

There are several (okay, a lot of) UFOs that live in the stash closet, waiting to see the light of day once more. I have yarn, needles, and a pattern for Mr. Greenjeans. There's another zippered cardigan, knit top down, - I never made it past the yoke. It's on waste yarn right now - I had to use the needles. There's a raglan sweater for David - I frogged it to wash the yarn, which came on a cone and is as stiff as twine. I actually managed to skein that yarn, all two pounds of it, but it hasn't gotten into the water yet.

Work is slamming busy. I am doing better at tracking things and making fewer mistakes, so that's a relief (and reduces the extra work from fixing said mistakes). It's a bit much, but hey, job security. I'm not spending 75% of my time thinking about the in-laws, and that's a change for the better.

So I got myself out into the yard by 8 this morning, since I knew it would be 90 by the afternoon. I pulled up a bushel or two of Virginia creeper and English ivy, under the crape myrtle on the east side of the yard. I had entertained thoughts of planting that blue lobelia there. It needs partial sun, and that's about the only spot in the yard. Unfortunately, if I did plant it there, I wouldn't be able to see it. Besides, those ivies are going to come right back. I decided to leave it and decide what to do with it later.

Then I attacked a volunteer tree that was overtaking the dogwood on that same fence line. It's kind of like a privet, but, you know, 20 feet tall. I lopped off branches until I could get at the core - three main trunks, about 3" in diameter. I filled the yard waste container with one, then the trash can with another, and left the third lying in the yard for next time. That dogwood has two main trunks and one side is mostly dead, but that job will have to wait until I have help - the dead trunk extends about 25 feet up, and would endanger the fence if I went after it alone.

I cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed, as long as I was already nasty and sweaty, then took the dog out for a one mile walk. I got it all done before 11 am. It takes me a while to learn, but I simply cannot do yardwork in the heat of midday around here, it just beats me down. I had a headache most of the day as it was.

After lunch, we went out to see the in-laws, then came home and had dinner. I tried to make a tarragon sauce, but I'll be damned if I can make one that tastes like tarragon. I can, however, make tarragon-flavored rice, and that was damn good. The chicken was fine, it just didn't taste very much of tarragon.

I got a new pigeon, or sponsee, on Thursday. To my great surprise, she called tonight, so I took her to a meeting. She had drunk most of the night and into this morning, and was starting to shake by the time I got her. She seems like she wants to stay sober, so maybe she'll hear something she needs to hear. She's overeducated, argues with everything, and can quote the literature left and right. Too bad that doesn't keep you sober. No matter what else happens, I'll stay sober. How she does is up to her.

Why on earth am I still awake at this hour? Goodnight.

So, the north-south hemisphere knit along has gotten a head start:

The Araucania cotton is fun to work with - I was afraid it would be splitty, but so far, it's fun. The switch from bottom to sides was a wee bit tight for a row or so, then it switched to a larger needle yarnovers, and suddenly all is easy and light. The other photos can be found in this set: String bag knit along.

Having four days to get my work done this week has kept me hopping. The fact that my boss keeps adding classes and programs to the schedule doesn't help much either. I had some vague thoughts of getting non-work things done but all was lost in the tidal wave.

I try to think of it as job security.

So I managed to get out and walk the dog a few times this week, I got enough sleep most days, I've been eating better. I made it all the way through the week before getting into a big attack of self-pity. It took me a few hours to get some perspective on it and get it out of my system. A couple of meetings in a row helped a lot. I really don't know how non-alcoholics cope with life, because AA is my refuge and strength. It's also a major pain in the ass sometimes, but that's just how it is when you hang out with alkies.

I had a busy day today. I made Jennifer's scrambled eggs (yum), then made cookies for the neighbor (he mows our front yard whenever he does his own, since he has a riding mower). We went to church, then I headed out to see the in-laws. I got out there later than planned, and took them to a band concert at a nearby resort - along with about 700 other people. I had to park way 'round back, then walk back around to find mom & dad, standing in the back of the ballroom. There were no seats left, but luckily, I'd brought camp chairs, and the car was actually pretty close to the location of the concert in the hotel. (We've had a few conferences at this place, I know the back ways into the exhibit halls), so I went back out to the car and brought the chairs in. The band played traditional marching band music, Sousa and the like, and they were pretty good. They played for about an hour, then we returned to the facility. When we got there, poor mom didn't know where she was or why, and in fact, as it turned out, she was convinced that she was in Tucson. We had a helluva time convincing her that she was really in central NC. Anyway. I put together a file cabinet for dad, then came back home.

David and I went out on a Date. We went out for dinner, then went to the movies. We planned to see Prince Caspian, but it was sold out and we saw Iron Man instead. Loved it. I certainly hope that Robert Downey, Jr., who plays Iron Man, has gotten sober, because he's a great actor and mighty easy on the eyes. Sadly, I think my dinner must have contained a lot of MSG, because I developed a nauseating headache about halfway through the movie, and I'm still not right.

Tomorrow, I have No Plans (cue the celestial choir). There are many things I'd like to do, a few that I ought to do, and none of them are critical. The boxwoods could use some pruning, along with the rest of the front yard. I bought some lobelia, and I need to decide where it should go. There's a Memorial Day program downtown called Glory Days that I usually attend. That's about the extent of it. Or, I might just sleep in, laze about, and knit. Holiday, you know.

Boy, do I love the Appalachians. Whenever I do get out there, I realize how much I've missed them. It would be well for me to leave this topic, however, since I am pretty well stuck where I am.

I went to the mountains on Monday, all stressed out and ready for a fight. I'd taken some stuff to the in-laws on the way - mom had neglected to pack her underpants, so I took them out there. She looked like she'd bitten into a rotten lemon. Hey, I'm smart enough to outwit an 80 year old lady with dementia, go me. Anyway, I finally got to the conference center around 8 pm. Tuesday I set up my booth and did a little browsing around Hendersonville, then drove up to Asheville to meet the world famous Jennifer Saylor, Freelance Writer. She ROCKS, is beautiful, smart, and funny, and wonderful. We went to a local yarn shop and got some yummy yarn for a knit-along that she's organizing. (You must be in either the Northern or Southern Hemisphere to participate - she's restrictive like that. Check out the details at her blog.) We had a great evening, and made plans for the Southeastern Animal Fiber Festival in Asheville this October. Mmm, wool.

Wednesday, I attended some of the programs at the conference, and slipped out in the afternoon to check out a cool yarn shop I'd while driving the day before. After dinner, I went to a program called "Heart Connections: Opening your Heart to True Joy." I don't know what came over me, really, but I went anyway. You're supposed to connect with your true heart and smile and stuff, but I just sobbed. I sobbed, tears poured down my cheeks, I just couldn't stop. Really, once the dam is breached in any small way, out it comes, so stand back. Seems like I had some hurt and frustration built up, there. I did feel better afterward. The next day, someone told me that she admired how I was able to be so free. I said, "I really had no control over it. I hate crying in front of people, but I couldn't make it stop." Heh.

Thursday, I attended a couple of programs, then put up the booth and headed home. Today, I made some food for my AA group's anniversary, then David and I took some stuff out to the in-laws. Mom was feeling much more social and less critical today (probably because of David's presence). Wally's having a grand old time there, meeting all the residents and staff. I'm just glad they're doing okay.

Tomorrow I will probably try to get caught up with laundry and house-straightening. I've neglected a lot. One of the programs I attended was "how to manage stress" (answer: send it to an assisted living facility), and the doctor presenting the material emphasized how much stress affects our health. I really have let myself slide, not eating well or exercising for months. I need to get back into some better habits.

Damn, it's nice to have my home back.

I took the in-laws to the assisted living facility this afternoon. Mom was most unhappy about it. I drove back home, had some dinner, and called out there - Deedee told me they were eating dinner and seemed just fine. There are some advantages to a short memory.

In the meantime, my sense of relief is enormous. Back in October when I was still in Dragoon, my own mother told me that dementia patients need care from medical professionals, and I have turned my mother in-law over to them, at last. It's been a very long six months, but we got it done.

We are not just leaving them there - we'll still go see them every week and make sure that they're getting good care. Dad will still need gluten-free brownies, and mom will still need half & half for her coffee. There are concerts and art shows to take them to, and a great botanical garden not far from them, so we will still continue to do things together. There is much left to take out there - they've purchased a bunch of stuff since they've been here, so it wouldn't all fit in the car on one trip, plus we have two storage units to slowly go through and empty.

Tomorrow I travel to western Carolina for a three day conference, where my primary responsibility will be to sit in an exhibit booth and answer questions. While people are in sessions, I can knit. In the evenings, I can do as I like. I'm going to visit a friend I've never met (hi, Jennifer!) and otherwise enjoy the golden SILENCE. Ah.

So, we went out to the AL place on Wednesday and got all the paperwork signed. Tomorrow, David and I will go to the storage unit and dig out a few pieces of furniture to take to the facility. I'll see what else I can find - the movers just piled everything up every which way when they unloaded. I will probably need to run to Walmart or Target for some basic stuff like sheets and towels, an electric kettle for Wally, a new coffeepot (their current one is pretty beat up). Sunday is the day that we will take them out there. Mom seems quite used to the idea, though she is alarmed by the cost. Wally can hardly wait. David and I are glad to reach this point in the process, ourselves. In some ways, I will still have two old wrinkly babies, but now they will have full-time caregivers. The AL folks will take care of the majority of their needs now, and I can stand down at last.

We are getting up at a very early hour for the moving tomorrow - I'd best get to bed. If you are inclined, say a little prayer for us all this weekend. This is a big change for the in-laws.

Click on the picture to see the cloven hooved beasties, the working dogs, and one or two yarny pictures. So tired, but happy.

Apparently, my tone of voice* got through out there, because the director called today, apologizing all over the place, and asking how we can repair the relationship. I didn't say "oh, it's okay" or anything like that, because it wasn't. The got my dander up, by God, and I don't play that conciliatory Southern woman game. Anyway, she also told me that their paperwork is all in order now, and we can move them in as soon as we are ready. That won't be until next weekend, but at least we are getting somewhere. Also, my boss has a good friend out there, a social worker who keeps tabs on that facility. Once we get the in-laws in there, she's going to make a special trip out there to meet the in-laws and keep a close eye on their welfare. It's good to have friends, isn't it?

*That's the tone of voice that makes the dog go under the table. I call it my mother voice - everyone stands up straighter when they hear it.

I came home from work, made dinner, went to the commissary, went to a meeting, came home and made tagine to cook in the oven all night, and I guess I'll pack tomorrow when I get up, because David had to go to bed already. And, really, I should be in bed myself. I'll take lots of pictures, and give a full report when I return. Wooooool!